First blog ever...Here are my current thoughts:

It is 4:37 am... I dont know why i am still awake...well actually i do...

I do want to sleep, but i dont really want to. I really dislike it when this happens =P "My minds tellings me no but my body, my body is telling me yessss"

ANY WAYSSS. x]

I just spent the past few hours i think its been hours.. well two..looking at the Ten Commandments...

Recently, i have been angry...angry at people...I dont like how people are now a days...well the people i know are juss giving a bad rep for everyone else. xP

I have been noticing how rude people are...how they dont like to say "hi" when you say "hi" to them...i dont know if they dont notice me or they dont like me...but i dont think they have a reason to dislike me..when im like really nice..or thats what i think xD but foreal. At least wave back! I dont care juss wave one second. THATS IT. I dont think i should over react to this, but i really dont like it. They arent like my best buddy or any thing but i feel that it is appropriate to say hi to people you know. AT LEAST A WAVE! xD Ayy nako...[kinda like "oh my gosh" in tagalog] Well anyway, so i dunno...ive been angry at just the fact that people are so rude, and stuck up and their jerky-ness. Like i tolerate it or try to...but its just so...i dont know...annoying? Im not sure what word i would like to use...but im just tired of giving them the benefit of the doubt. If the same thing happens every time, there must be another reason instead of "they didnt see me...again...when im RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM" you feel me?? x] Well back to the subject =P I have gotten to the point where i feel like i shouldnt be nice anymore...like i want to be this jerk...where i can just not care. Not care if people dont say hi, or dont say hi, or if they are being rude or whatever. You know? I have been raised to not make confrontation, and to just let things go and to be nice, no matter who it is. I strive to not judge people by the way they look, and to try to see the good and beauty in everyone. I know people arent like me, but have they not heard those sayings?? Sure you may not be the same religion as me but if you havent even heard of love thy neighbor as thyself or even TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED and not even TRY to apply that to your life. I think you. are. a jerk. -__- Maybe I expect too much out of people now a days…I shouldnt even be saying these kinds of things x[ but what happend to manners? and common courtesy. Are you not aware people?? Blehh…I know my children will not grow up (well hope they wont) grow up and forget their manners. Because honestly…forgetting that saying--or whatever it is called--it really just led to the world we live in today…is it not? Im going in way too deep with this subject haha x]

But anyway so i was looking up the Ten Commandments. And another reason to add to why i was looking it up was just the fact that i felt like there was something wrong with me. I felt as if maybe im the problem. Or maybe God is putting me through a trial, to make me grow stronger and wiser and more patient. Boy, do i need patience xP And like i was crying, about how bad of a christian i am…and how i need to change and how i want God to help me, and for Him to take the wheel. Like i honestly need Him in my life…And im glad i do have Him in my life. And i was just like wondering why i have all these good things in my life, when i dont even deserve them. And like i know that if you "ask, you shall receive" but i dont want to ask God for things. Like how selfish is that? Well i know not to ask for a car xD omgosh i sound so stupid.. but you know?? Well wen i mean ask, like when i ask for things to get better…i dont want to ask for things like that…well when i say things get better i mean for me. not for someone else…but anyway..i dont want to do that because for someone who breaks His 10 Commandments, i should not ask for my sickness to get better, for my boy problems to end and whatever. You know?

All i want to do is please God, make Him happy. But recently, i havent, and i feel like if he wasnt such a loving and forgiving God….he would hate me..and be ashamed..and here comes the tears…x[ and i feel like i need to change…and im striving to. Starting tomorow. Ima try hard, and im really really wanting to be the person that God wants me--or his children--to be.

So yea, i looked up the ten commandments, andddddd i want to get a tattoo. xD yea weird little random…thing. x] Well i want to get a tattoo of a few words and maybe a cross behind it…the words…i was thinking something in the lines of…"Live Life for The Lord" Yes? I want it short. Im scared x] but i want it to remind why i live each and everyday. Who im living for each and everyday, yes also for my parents, but mostly for The Lord. And I think I need it…I know, i shouldnt have to be reminded, but i dont want something or someone to distract me and pull me away from Him and I would forget my purpose or goals you know? I think it would be good. =]

Omgosh..I have been typing for almost an hour. "GG" xD

I dont think i want to post my link to my facebook…i dont know if people are even interested. But i like being able to put my thoughts out. And i hope that YOU--yes, person who is reading this blog xD --enjoyed reading my thoughts. Sorry if it was boring and random, and repetitive (and hopefully not confusing hehe) but thats what was in my mind and it went in directly hehe. Also i would like to know how you found this blog and why you are reading it haha x] I just wanna see what happends. But if someone (aka you, mister or miss reader) were to find this and read it, you seriously randomly found this. Haha okay. GOOD NIGHT. =]

Final mood: Tired and ready to sleep

5:29 am